I was a bad husband, because it was not my role. With Mary, who was the mother of my children, I needed to determine my relationship with a female. And I thought, the best way to do it - so people would stop talking and asking me questions – was to marry her. It had been going on for a few years, until it broke down. The little dose of a man, macho, virile, head of the family and husband I had in me, was used up. It was my mistake, of course, and I paid for it. Yes… I guess I really paid for it.

Marià was married for over 20 years and had two daughters. He lost contact with them when he decided to “come out” and divorce. When I was photographic his everyday life, his economic situation was quite difficult. After the divorce he maintained some personal things that were remainding him about past, good level life.

He lived alone, taking care of everything and doing all the housework. Sometimes voluntiers from the Red Cross were helping him by bringing food or accompanying him to a doctor. He never wanted to go to a nursing home. He was afraid people would treat him without respect because of his orientation.

Maria died few months after I had published this photo-reportage. Shortly before, when I asked him why he agreed to tell me his story, he said: One day I’ll be gone, but my voice will remain. 

We met on the beach. I looked into her beautiful green eyes and I felt like colapsing. It was the most beautiful thing that happened in my life.

Maite spent about 8 years in a cloistered convent when she was young. She had to leave because of medical reasons. She was suffering deep depresion. Few years later she got married and had 2 children. After years of mariage she realized she cannot pretend anymore being someboy else. She decided to divorce and from then on, she has been living according to her true sexual orientation.

She has been living alone for the last few years, in a small apartement situated in a building for elder people. Neither of her neighbours knows she is a lesbian. According to Maite, some of her neighbors could feel “incomfortable” if they new it. Therefore she never speaks about her intimate life and prefers to avoid any subject related to it, even at the cost of feeling more isolated.

I always wanted to have a family. But I knew, from a very young age, I was homosexual. I went to speak with a priest and he told, if I had a strong will and tried hard, there would be no problem. I could get married, have a normal life and form a family. I made a mistake and believed him.

Pako divorced after 15 years of marriage. He had three kids and it took long years until he finaly rebuild relationship with all of them. Today he lives in a small town in Catalonia. He teaches crocheted classes in a Retirement House and works as a volunteer in a local Museum. He feels very accepted, but acknowledges that he had his doubts before moving there. According to him, in many other small towns in Spain, it would not be so easy to live in a totally open way.